open eyes

The past few months i have seen so many new romantic relationships form between my friends… 

So being the person that i am, naturally i wanted one of my own.

So everytime a guy has seemed to have the traits i look for..

I automatically decided to persue him.

Don’t waste any time.. right?

WRONG.

i’ve made myself look like an idiot on more than one occasion…

and the worst part is.

i truly don’t even want a relationship.

I can’t emotionally handle one right now… 

so what am i doing?

 I have no clue.

Trust issues are a big deal for me because of my past few relationships

and i haven’t felt an emotional connection with any guys because i’ve let myself automatically pursue them rather than befriend them.

Well whats the point of all this?

I guess the point is.. i’m worrying about myself.

When that guy comes along… i guess it will just… happen?

Who knows.

I think i have it all figured out

but i never do.

Some guys like girls with daddy issues, i like guys with social anxiety          ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Two things that complete strangers said to me that i’ll never forget:

I was at Panera one day and i got up to re-fill my drink and there was a lady in front of me and i was holding my parent’s drinks as well and i wasn’t dropping them or anything but she stopped in the middle of filling her drink and looked at me and said “you know what? everyone in this world is always in such a hurry. Go ahead ill wait.” i was so fucking confused at the time but i never ever forgot her or what she said for some reason.

Secondly.. when i bought my guitar in the 8th grade the guy was smiling like crazy when he was giving it to me and then he started talking about how he loves selling instruments to people because music is so therapeutic and he doesn’t know how he could live without it and to see another person have the possibility to bring more music to this world and for themselves brought him so much joy

It’s the little things i guess.

i just never forgot those two moments

You never know what you say or do might effect a total stranger in a big way.

Lyfe, yo.